Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
