Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
