Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
