Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
