...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Even my vagina gasped.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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