Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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