I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
