Sry I called you an 8
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize