Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
