there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
