Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
