i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize