just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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