so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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