Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
