how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
