he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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