Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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