Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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