Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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