i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
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