I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
