So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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