1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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