woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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