I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
MIDGETS
????
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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