Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
