Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize
