It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
