your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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