I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
if i died would you start the facebook group?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
