I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
