bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
