Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
