I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
