drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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