I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
