Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
