sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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