C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
