just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
