U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I would fuck him just for his dog
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
