You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Randomize
