I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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