So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
