i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Quick, to the slutcave!
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
