Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize