Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
