my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
