I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
