i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
