I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
