My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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