haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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