I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
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