Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize