Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I touched a dick in church today
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