Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
