6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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