I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
