mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
