U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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