I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
