meet me or not, i'm out of control
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize