you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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